Wrongfully Destined
by NoLove10
Summary: What was at first just a fling turned into a dysfunctional relationship built upon common interest. But obviously those situations are never easy when kids and another woman is involved in the picture.
1. Chapter 1

Tonight, dinner at the table is a silent affair. With his tie loose hanging over his blue shirt, he looks much more stressed than Nikita's seen him in the last few months. He took small bites of his food every second he can manage to snap himself out of his thoughts but he's not really focused on the whole romantic vibe Nikita worked hard to create tonight, which makes her a little disappointed.

"So…" Nikita finally spoke, clearing her throat hoping to get his attention for a moment.

His attention focused on her for one second for the first time since he walked through the door and he swallowed hard.

"What?" Michael asked.

Nikita raised her eyebrows at him. She obviously knows something is bothering him, but there was no need for his attitude or his coldness. For all she knows, it could be all those cases he's dealing with at the firm.

"What do you think?" Nikita asked instead of making a big deal out of his unwelcoming attitude.

"Of what?" Michael replied.

"Dinner." Nikita said, gesturing her hand over the mostly full plate in front of him as if it wasn't obvious. "You haven't said much since you got here. What's wrong?"

"Everything's fine." He replied sternly.

Nikita licked her lips and looked over at him disappointingly. "Okay then," She said as she begin to clean up the dinner table.

Catching upon his sternness and cold attitude, Michael ran a hand through his spiky hair and sighed.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I-I didn't mean to-"He begin to apologize.

"It's okay." Nikita interrupted as she took her place in front of him at the side of the table. "Just tell me what's going on." She said.

"I don't know, Nikita." Michael replied truthfully. "I just don't know." He got off the chair almost at rage as he made his way down the hallway.

Nikita grew worried. She's seen him get angry; she's seen him have his moments of frustration and it happens but she's never seen him feel so through and angry to the point of exhaustion.

She followed him down to the room and found him lying on the bed with his hands over his face.

"I didn't think it was wrong to be concerned." Nikita commented quietly. "You didn't have to blow up like this on me."

"I'm just tired." Michael mumbled.

Nikita quietly took a sit next to him at the edge of the bed and sighed. "Tired of what?" She asked. Though she knows that it's been a long day for him, she also knew he didn't just mean physically tired.

"Of it all." Michael replied. "Of this life I've been living."

Nikita's heart dropped in her chest. This is not the first time those words have been said but every time, it takes away a piece of her that she can't get back.

"No one's forcing you to live it the way you are." She whispered brokenheartedly.

Michael sat up on the bed and looked at her. "Do you think it's really that easy?" He asked.

"I'm not saying it is." Nikita said. "But you make it harder than it should be."

Michael chuckled humorlessly. "You're unbelievable." He said. "You really are." He begin to unbutton his shirt as he tossed his tie behind him on the bed.

"Come on, Michael." Nikita said. "Let's just cut the crap and talk about what this is really about."

"It's about my life!" Michael snapped. "Me, you, us, my kids, Elizabeth! This fucking double life that I've been living for a year, now!"

"And this is my fault how, Michael?" Nikita asked a little angrily. "Like I said, no one is forcing you to live a double life."

"I'm right here Nikita." Michael said bitterly. "I'm right here blowing my whole life up for you and I don't even think you understand that."

That wasn't true. Nikita understood well enough the sacrifices they've both been making to make this wrongful destined relationship work. They've tried so much that she doesn't even remember how many time they've had this fight.

So this time she really reached her breaking point and snapped.

"And you think that you're the only one giving up everything you ever had?" Nikita asked. "What about the shit I deal with Michael? What about the fact that I can't introduce you to my family yet because I've been screwing a married man for a year now?" She yelled. "I don't like the situation anymore than you do, so don't sit here and tell me that you're blowing your whole life up for me and that I don't understand! No! Don't ever say that. You should be blowing your whole life up because your nine years of marriage sucks!"

"What do you want me to do?!" Michael got off the bed frustratedly. "I'm out of options here, Nikita. Tell me what to do because I can't keep lying to my kids any longer." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned the screen on. He accessed his messaging app and begin reading. _"'Daddy where are you? Daddy when are you coming home? Daddy we miss you'. _Tell me what to do Nikita, because sooner or later, those work trips has got to stop and eventually my excuses for not being at home will be running out._"_

"How about the truth?!" Nikita screamed. "Tell them the truth. But don't blame the reason why you're lying to your wife and kids at home constantly on me." She said. "I never asked for any of this. The door's right this way." She pointed through the exit door of their shared bedroom angrily. "You're a grown man, you can always leave. Anytime you want."

That last part slipped out of her mouth. She didn't mean to push him away in a moment where they both should be helping each other out. And she certainly didn't mean to watch him grab his jacket and leave the house furiously as she just told him he freely could.

She followed him right outside in pure anger. Though her mind was telling her to stop before it gets too far, the words of insults couldn't stop coming out of her mouth.

"Are you just gonna walk away every time or are you for once gonna stop being a coward and talk to me?" She pulled his arm roughly only to have Michael frustratedly turn around and give her the death glare.

"You're a piece of shit, and I hate you for blaming this all on me!" She continued yelling.

Though he was clenching on his teeth, his veins popping out of his neck and his eyes filled with anger, Michael didn't do anything as the adrenaline keeps rushing through his blood. He simply turned around and walked out the door like he had planned to do.

He got in his car and drove out of the driveway, leaving Nikita standing at the front door hopeless for him to come back and tears streaming down her face.

What the heck was she doing getting involved with a married man in the first place? It was all beneficial on both parts until she fell in love with him and now she truly believes it's over between them. It was never meant to be in the first place.

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_I'm not feeling very inspired to update my other stories but I'm mending on a few ideas on how to keep them interesting so please bare with me until then. I'm hoping you guys like the start of this story which I'm hoping to be able to balance with the other ones. Thoughts are much appreciated, so please do review and let me know how you guys liked or hated this chapter. Until next time, xoxo._


	2. Doing What's Right

_You guys just have to appreciate that I still write. You shouldn't have to worry about how much work I have to do because of how many unfinished stories I have, and as rude as that sounds, it's been building up. Most of you have pointed out that this story reminds you of __**"The Other Woman" by**__**JaeCurtis **__(Who by the way is a great writer), while the plot may look the same, I can assure you the story's totally different. Anyways, thanks for all the reviews and I hope you guys enjoy this chapter for those who still read them._

_888_

_**Flashback:**_

_Nine months ago…_

_As she's driving towards the hotel's parking lot, Nikita is trying to convince herself that she could do it. Alex is right. She can't keep messing with Michael like this and expect not to catch personal feelings._

_It was supposed to be one night. And then one night became regular rendezvous at various hotels twice a week where they made passionate love to each other and got to know each other better. And through all those self-conscious actions, it became to not even matter to Nikita anymore that Michael was married. But she knows it's wrong. He treats her right; he makes her feel special in every way possible. He's a real man and it's so damn painful to know that all this has wrong timing._

_Nikita took a deep breath; almost sighing as she look at her rear-view mirror. She fixed her hair up into a messy, curly bun; applied some bright cherry lipstick on her lips and fixed her irresistible outfit._

_Their secret meeting became such a habit, that the need to check at the front desk wasn't even needed. The suite was already booked and all she had to do was get in that elevator and go up to the room._

_Nikita ran her fingers through her hair as the elevator came to a stop at the fourth floor. 420B. she sighed. She needs the guts to do this. Her hand balled into a fist as she inched closer to the door. One knock… two… nearly three, the door flew open and there stood her lover with a contagious, happy smile plastered across his face. Nikita thought she lost her sense of control when he framed her face in his large palm and kissed her lips so vigorously and so passionately as if he'd been missing her all day._

_How was she supposed to end this affair now?_

_But even in that pure moment of passion, when they pulled away Michael could tell something was wrong. His ability to read her was almost too impressive to be true considering they were only into a four month affair together._

"_What's wrong?" Michael asked._

_They were still standing at the door and he tried to invite her in the suite, but Nikita wouldn't move. She wouldn't look at him, almost as if she was ashamed._

"_Hey, look at me, mama." He titled her chin up, eyes full of concern as he stroked her cheek. "What's wrong?" He asked again. "Talk to me."_

"_We can't keep doing this, Michael." She bit the inside of her mouth as she forced the words out. She didn't give him a chance to interrupt her, afraid that she would change her mind. _

"_You're married, Michael." She continued. "You have kids and what we're doing is childish and while it's great that we can be happy with each other, sooner or later it's going to end and I'm afraid to-"_

_He did exactly what she didn't want him to do. He chuckled at her, pressed his hands on her tense shoulders and kissed her lips._

"_Why are you smiling?" Nikita asked. "Michael, it's not funny!"_

_He agreed. "Alright, it's not." He said. "But you could've told me all this over the phone. It would've been more painful. Why come here anyways if you truly want us to end all this?"_

_Because she really doesn't! She's just torn between doing what's right and what makes her truly happy._

"_I-I don't know." She stammered._

_Nikita pouted and whined when Michael swapped her off her feet and hoisted her up in his arms as he guided them inside their suite, kicking the door closed on his way in. He held her in his arms and cupped her cheeks with one firm hand and pecked her lips._

"_We are going to,-"Kiss. "Get you all relaxed,-"Kiss. "Figure this all out." Kiss. "And I'm gonna take care of you because that's what good boyfriends do." Kiss._

_**End Flashback.**_

_888_

His eyes flutter open, waking up to the Saturday morning sun, shining through the windows of his car parked in the public park.

Michael blinked, still couldn't quite believe he had slept in his car.

It took him a moment to remember why he had been in this particular area in the first place. He sat in his seat properly and listened to the birds chirping on the tree branches outside.

His stomach grumbled, indicating the emptiness he was feeling was real due to hunger. Michael sighed as he reached for his seat belt and buckled up before starting the engine of his car.

...

Michael drove straight to a nearby breakfast Starbucks to grab his morning coffee and a bite to eat. He wasn't sure whether or not Nikita would awake when he gets back but to make up for their outrageous behavior on his part, he bought her some breakfast too.

He got home (over at Nikita's) a quarter of eight. He opened the door using his spare keys and pushed through the main entry looking at the open spaced living room.

He looked around and everything looked pretty normal. It was quiet which made him not sure if Nikita was awake yet.

"I'm in the kitchen." He heard her echo from the kitchen.

Taking a few steps left from the living room, Michael found himself standing a few feet away from where Nikita was sitting on top of the counter.

"Hi." Michael said with occupied hands.

"Hi." Nikita replied back with a small sad smile plastered across her lips.

Michael took a few more steps towards Nikita and placed the still hot cup of coffee and the brown bags in his hands next to her.

"I wasn't sure if you'd be awake yet. I brought you some breakfast." Michael said.

Nikita nodded appreciatively at his thoughtfulness. "Thank you." She murmured.

There was a brief moment of silence between them as Michael sip on his coffee.

"So where did you go?" Nikita finally asked.

"I went for a drive." Michael replied. "Cleared my mind."

Nikita nodded again as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Michael, I really think we should take a break from this relationship and-"

Michael raised his eyebrows. He didn't even wanna hear the end of this so he interrupted her before she could finish.

"Nikita we had a fight, okay." He said. "It's not something that's unusual. That's what couples do. They fight. Where's all this coming from?"

That was true. Couples fight. And they also make up after that but Nikita wasn't sure it would be this easy this time. Last night was intense and some things that shouldn't have been said were said and there's no just getting over it.

"It was different this time Michael." She told him. "You're here. I acknowledge that and I'm so glad you're sacrificing so much because you believe we can make this relationship work despite the difficulties but if it stops you from being with your kids and being a father to them, then I don't know..."

Michael looked confused and petrified. "I'm there for my kids Nikita-" He begin trying to convince her.

"But not enough." Nikita said as she slid off the counter. "And I think you need to change that."

"Nikita we don't have to get into this right now, alright." Michael sighed. "Things have been a little frustrating these past few weeks but don't use my excuse of not seeing my kids as a reason to push me away." He told her. "Because I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm not pushing you away." Nikita shook her head in disagreement. "I'm just trying to do what's right here. Adult to adult. You need to go be with your family." She said.

"What about you? What do you think you are to me, Nikita?" Michael questioned with a raised eyebrow.

He's her family too! He's the best thing that's ever happened to her and this isn't easy for her to do and he's making it so much harder.

"But your kids come first, Michael." Nikita's voice broke. "They're your first priority... No matter what."

Michael nodded. It's taking everything he's got not to just lash out right now because this came all too suddenly and he didn't like it.

"So... So what are you saying Nikita? I don't understand." He paced around the kitchen while running his fingers through his hair.

"You have to let me go." Nikita mumbled.

And that's exactly what they've both been dreading.

"I know that." Michael said as he leaned against the fridge and bit his lips. "You want me to be happy about it? Because I'm not."

Nikita's heart was shattering as tears run down her cheeks. "Michael just stop it." She pleaded. "I don't wanna fight you this morning. I just wanna spend time with you before you go back to where you belong." She was so desperate to just get past the argument but Michael was always so stubborn. Believe it or not, a quality she herself has inherited and grew to love about him.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Michael mocked. "This is where I belong. With you." He said.

Nikita shook her head almost frustratedly. She doesn't want this! But it's what has to happen.

"Stop it, Michael." She cried. "You said it yourself last night. Your kids miss you and-"

She was once again interrupted when Michael took two rushed steps towards her and grabbed her shoulders.

"Look at me-" He breathed. "Do you know how many times over the last year we've been together that I wake up in the middle of the night and smile because of how happy you make me? Do you know how many times I thank God for sending you my way? Nikita I don't regret being with you. It's just…"

"Your kids come first." Nikita said with a nod. "And I understand that and that's why I want you to go, Michael. Just go home to your kids and please understand that I'm not trying to push you away. It's just something you have to do." She reasoned.

"What am I supposed to do Nikita? Hm?" Michael asked. His heart was ripping in half and it hurts so damn much. What Nikita makes him feel, he's never felt it in the nine years he's been with Elizabeth. And it's not because he doesn't love Elizabeth. He loves Elizabeth with all he's got…he's take a bullet for that woman. Elizabeth's the mother of his three children and that has to count for something. But he fell out of love with Elizabeth long ago, the second he met Nikita. It's not something he can help. This is all so wrong and so confusing!

"Am I supposed to just go and pretend that everything's wonderful when I go home? Am I supposed to just forget about you; forget about us?" He continued.

Nikita shrugged desperately. "If it's what you have to do." She said bitter sweetly as more tears escaped her eyes.

"Do you even love me anymore?" Michael asked sadly.

Nikita shook her head and turned away from Michael, trying to stop her tears. "This isn't fair." She replied.

"But I'm asking." Michael said.

She hid her face in her hand as she choked back on her tears. Her breathing heavy and her eyes red, she turned around to look at her lover again and tilted her head to the side. "Of course I love you." Nikita answered. "I always will. Just please." She felt desperate; wanting to just give up on everything. "I love you so much Michael and I don't know what I would do without you and I know you hate what's happening but I need you to understand-"

She felt Michael pull her in his arms as he looked down at her with tearful green eyes. "Shhh…" He stroked her cheek. "I don't know if I'll understand all this anytime soon but I love you." He leaned down and kissed her lips for the first time since last night. They moaned against each other's lips. They've missed each other since last night and right now, at this very moment, it felt like everything was alright again.

They pulled away for a few seconds and just looked into each other's eyes.

"I love you." Nikita whispered.

"I love you too." Michael replied.

…

Their lips met in a slow commotion; soft and loving yet still dainty. Tears rolled down Nikita's cheek as they both begin to take steps that lead towards the couch in the living room. They once again pulled away and Michael took a seat at the edge of the couch and hugged Nikita's waist as if he never wanted to let go. He's never been afraid of losing someone so much in his life.

It pained Nikita to death knowing that she is sacrificing her happiness; their happiness all because she wants him to figure his life out and everything that's been going on in general.

She looked down at him and watched tears escaped his normally happy, bright green eyes.

"Don't cry." She said tearfully. "Please."

Michael laid his head on her flat stomach. Nikita hugged his neck and kissed his forehead comfortingly. She kissed his forehead, traveled to his nose and kissed his lips once again; slowly and fervently.

One glance at each other after they pulled apart, they both knew they wanted each other; a need they needed to fulfill together because they don't know when they'll be able to be with each other again.

With intertwined fingers, Nikita helped Michael up from the couch and he followed her down the hall of their bedroom.

…

She fell onto the mattress and sunk into the soft sheets as Michael's body pressed against hers. Their lips moved in sync; fingers tightly intertwined, they savored each other's lips and neck in delightful need.

Tired of feeling clothes, they once again pulled away and Michael begin to strip off his shirt. His muscles flexing and strong; his skin so beautiful and covered with meaningful ink. Nikita eyed him and saw him as just who he is. Flawless. And God how much she's gonna miss him.

She pulled him back on top of her by the belt of his dress pants. Their lips met again as Michael worked on discarding the white robe off her body. Unlike their other intense, raunchy sexual encounters, this morning is different.

They took turns stripping each other off their undergarments; they took turns exploring each other's body like they never have before; but most importantly, they took turns making love to each other.

At the moment, they're peaceful tangled in each other's arms; they're happy looking into each other's eyes knowing how much love they hold, but they're also sad knowing that this could be the last time they lay in this bed in each other's arms.

They're sitting in close contact after a blissful round of love. Exhaustion running throughout their bodies and all they both want is to just be with each other as much as possible.

"You're so beautiful." Michael whispered, looking into Nikita's brown orbs as he pushed some hair out of her face.

Nikita smiled at him sadly and leaned in for a tender kiss. "I miss you already." She murmured against his lips.

"I'm right here." Michael reassured her. "I'm not going anywhere." He said. "We don't even have to do this if we can just be together."

He was hoping that maybe Nikita would change her mind if he persuaded her. Not that he hasn't done enough of that earlier.

"Promise me something." Nikita said.

Michael nodded. "Anything." He replied with soft eyes.

"Promise me that you're not just gonna focus on work when you go… home to Elizabeth and your kids." She swallowed hard as the words leave her lips. "Promise me that you'll stop working, even if it's just for a week. Promise me that you'll spend time with those kids and be the father to them that they love before you met me." She continued. "I don't know how things with Elizabeth will be when you go back, but whatever happens, those kids are innocent and they need you, Michael." She said. "You have two daughters and a son. Those kids love you and look up to you, that's why on our time apart, I don't want you to think about me-"

Michael raised his eyebrows. Not thinking about her will be nearly impossible and it's not fair that she's asking him to promise her that.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to not think about you." He said.

"Try." Nikita begged. "Please. Just be with your kids."

"Okay." Michael agreed. "Okay. I promise." He said.

"Thank you." Nikita smiled, caressing his cheeks.

"Promise me something, too." Michael demanded.

"What?" Nikita asked.

He knows he sounds hopeless but he needed the reassurance. Michael knows that it's going to be crazy when he gets home and knowing that he still holds a place in Nikita's heart would absolutely keep him sane.

"Don't give up on me." Michael begged.

It was almost as if someone took a hammer and smashed Nikita's heart to bits and pieces. How could she give up on him when he's the only man she's truly ever loved? He's everything she ever dreamed of in a man. She'd never give up on him. Not now, not ever.

"I couldn't." Nikita replied tearfully. "I could never give up on you, Michael." She promised him.

888

The rest of the day had gone by with the couple in bed, enjoying cuddling and resting in each other's arms. They had finally decided to get out of bed around four o'clock in the evening. Nikita wanted to wash Michael's clothes and pack his bag for him and hopefully have some dinner before he leaves for God knows how long.

As Michael helped her fold his clean laundry into his small suitcase, they were quiet. So quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"So we're really doing this?" Michael asked for the millionth time.

Nikita sighed. "I guess so." She replied.

…

They ordered Kelly's for dinner instead of having to cook. They wanted more time with each other and also wanted to catch the sunset together. It all seems so surreal. They were breaking up, but at the same time they weren't.

Very confusing.

After dinner, they both stood outside in the driveway. Both with a glass of Pinot Noir, they watched the orange county sun disappear in the horizon. This was Nikita's favorite part of the day. She loved watching the sun set and disappear behind the horizon, giving the huge clouds a rainbow hue. The beauty always astounded her.

Strong arms encircled her waist and she smiled.

"It's such a beautiful night." Michael purred. "I'm glad I get to spend it with you." He whispered, kissing the nape of her neck.

"I'm glad too." Nikita said as the bright yellow and orange ball of fire sunk behind the horizon.

Their unfinished glasses of wine were left placed at the roof of Michael's grey Jaguar XK; Michael turned Nikita around and found her lips, locking them with his.

He picked her up and embraced her one last time in his arms as they lose themselves in their passionate kiss.

But the moment would end as soon as they were out of breath. Michael settled Nikita back on her feet but he never let go.

"I'm gonna miss you." He said.

"I will too." Nikita told him.

Bright tears sprung in her eyes. How the hell did she get herself in this situation?

His bags already in the trunk of his car, Michael was ready to leave and Nikita had to watch him drive off and go home to his family. This is the most gut-ripping moment of her entire life. She almost wishes she didn't love him so much.

"I'll see you soon." Michael swallowed.

Soon… Wonder when that'll be.

"Um, yeah."

God knows she wants to be hopeful. They stood before each other silently as the early evening wind blew Nikita's thick, healthy hair back.

"You have a two hour drive ahead of you. You better get going if you wanna get there early." Nikita said.

Home…

Michael nodded. "Yeah." He agreed. "I'll call you."

"Okay."

He finally found the strength to let her go and it was as if a part of Nikita died right then. The tears are so near but she doesn't wanna break down in front of Michael and make him stay.

This time he wasn't leaving for a day of work. It was for weeks; even months maybe, and she couldn't break down right now.

"I love you."

Michael's last words before he got in his car. Nikita took the glasses of wine from the roof of his car and watch him drive out of the driveway. She waved at him, the tear finally falling. She can't be strong anymore.

"I love you too." She whispered to herself.

Michael honked at her at the near end of the street through the gate and Nikita stayed outside until she lost sight of his car.

888

Nikita's sitting in her living room. She's been crying for the last ten minutes but it felt like a while. She feels empty, alone and simply sad.

She picked up her phone on the glass table in the living room and made a phone call.

He's gone and she doesn't know what to do.

One ring…

Two…

Three…

And she finally got an answer.

"_Oh hey, diva!"_

Nikita sniffled.

"_Nikita, sweetie? What's wrong?"_

"I'm an idiot, Alex."

"_Don't say that. W-What happened?"_

"He left. I told him to leave."

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_Well this is it for this very long chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Reviews are much appreciated so let me know what you guys thought. Until next time, xoxo._


	3. And Oh How I Miss You

It's been two week since Michael has been home and he's taken a few weeks off from work to honor his promise to Nikita. He's been doing everything he can to keep her out of his thoughts while he's away from her but the only thing he seems to know how to do is think about her.

And the more he's around his kids, the more he realizes how right Nikita was. He's missed his kids; he's missed being a dad and just doing the little things that puts a smile on his kid's faces such as: picking them up from school, going out for pizza or frozen yogurt afterschool, kicking a ball in the park with Kalian, helping Karen and Ka'Liyah with their homework, I exactly what he's been doing to keep his a straight mind.

While things with the mother of his children (Elizabeth) seem to be fine, Michael definitely knew sooner or later, he's going to have to answer to certain things. Especially when he's been doing everything in his power to avoid any conversations that may land him in an awkward position that leads to more questioning.

It's Tuesday night and Michael was getting the kids ready for school in the morning. He had already read to them and made sure they were well and comfortable to sleep. After saying their prayer, he watched his kids fall asleep soundly and he couldn't help but smile. Being with Nikita completes him but when he's away from home, these are the things he misses about being home away from his real home.

And God only knows he loves those kids so much. The bond he has with his son (Kalian) is so dear and special to him. He's trying his best to raise his son to be a good man, teaching him great morals, and telling him to always keep his words, be kind and respectful to women and always tell the truth no matter how painful it might be. Everything he grew up with as a southern boy he was passing on to his son. And knowing that he's been living a lie for a year now, Michael doesn't know how he can call himself an honest man. He doesn't know how he can be a role model to his son anymore when he's been doing the opposite of what he's teaching him.

All of this was enough to make him lose his mind.

Michael sighed to himself before placing a kiss on his three-year old son's forehead. He turned the lamp off and quietly left the room. Today's been a long day.

As tired as he was, his time off from work was coming to an end very soon and he had a few papers to look over before contacting his clients.

Michael strolled down the hall of his home, running his hand through his hair exhaustingly. He was in desperate need for a drink and some relaxation. And just when he thought Elizabeth was asleep giving to how quiet it was around, he found her in the dim lit kitchen, sitting on a stool behind the counter with a half-filled bottle of wine.

"I thought you were asleep." Michael said.

Elizabeth nodded very briefly and took a sip of her wine. "Are they asleep?" She asked.

"Yeah. Out like a light." Michael replied.

"Come on, sit." Elizabeth patted the stool next to her before reaching for another glass in the cabinet. "Join me."

"Okay." Michael said.

He sat down as he let Elizabeth pour him his own glass of wine. Something about this approach smelled fishy and he doesn't know how to get out of it.

"Why have you been acting strange?" Elizabeth asked.

Michael shrugged. "What are you talking about?" He jumped.

"I don't know. You tell me." Elizabeth said. "You came back from your trip and everything seems great. The kids are happy, I'm happy that you decided to take a break from your busy schedule but it's like you're here, but not really here… here." She explained. "I don't know if that make sense."

Michael took a deep breath. He needs to stop. If Elizabeth can sense that something's wrong; if she can sense that he's so miserable without his mistress, it's only a matter of time before she finds out about Nikita and that would be his biggest mistake.

"Just some things on my mind." He finally answered. "You know me and how I get."

Suddenly, Elizabeth felt bad for coming onto him so strongly.

"I'm sorry." Elizabeth apologized with a crocked eyebrow as she bit on her nails.

Michael affectionately pulled her onto his lap and gently rubbed her back. The last thing he needs right now is for Elizabeth to think that his problems are beyond what he admits to. He just can't deal with it right now.

"It's not your fault." He said.

_God. What the hell…_

"You wanna talk about it?" Elizabeth asked sympathetically.

Michael shook his head. "No." He replied. "You look really exhausted; you should head to bed and get some rest."

"Yeah." Elizabeth agreed.

She was looking so deeply into his eyes; Michael almost feared she might find something. And then he was surprised when his wife kissed him. So passionate, so lustful, it tear his soul apart because although he kissed her back because somewhere deep down in his heart his nine year of marriage meant something to him at some point, he didn't feel anything but sorrow because right when his wife of nine years kissed him, he was thinking about another woman.

This is so messy.

And just when he thought he couldn't feel any more horrible about what he's destroyed, his heart broke for Elizabeth into a million pieces that could never be put back together.

They pulled apart and she looked so beautiful, so amazing and Michael knew it wasn't fair. None of this is right. The tears are right there and instead of letting them fall, he licked his lips and continued to look into his wife's eyes as he pushed her silky brown hair behind her ears.

Elizabeth captured his lips again in a sensual kiss and he could still hear the broken pieces of his heart breaking into dust now.

"Come to bed with me." Her tone was so desperate. "Please."

_How? _

_How does one look at their wife in the eyes and refuse a request such as that? How?_

"Okay." He nodded. "You go ahead. I'll be there in a few." Michael whispered.

888

The hot water poured down her soft skin and created steams in the bathroom as she washed away the long stressful day of teaching. Her body is soaked, her eyes are watery and she couldn't tell the difference between her tears and the water as she sobbed quietly to herself.

She's become so miserable, so lifeless and nobody can do a damn about it except for him but he ain't here at the moment and all she can rely herself on to feel at joy even if it's just for a second are the countless flashbacks she sometimes finds herself replaying in her head countless times.

It's just like movie. She plays it in her mind hundreds of thousands of times but yet it never seems to end. She meets this man, she falls in love, everything is amazing and then there's a road block where it just freezes and she doesn't know what's next.

_I never asked for this feeling  
I never thought I would fall  
I never knew how I felt  
Till the day you were gone  
I was lost_

_Flashback_

"_You know what they say..."_

_It was just a regular Saturday night and Nikita was at a bar about twenty minutes from home having a drink just to be alone when suddenly some over hot looking man spoke to her._

_Right off the bat, something about him intrigued her. She wasn't sure what it was but something about his eyes had her floating on cloud nine._

"_What do they say?" She questioned._

"_Third time's a charm." He replied._

_Confused as to what this ridiculously hot looking man was talking about, Nikita cocked her eyebrows._

"_Yes. But how?" She asked._

"_This is the third time I've come to this bar and yet again, here you are." He said._

_Nikita smiled wryly. "Hm. Funny. I didn't realize you were counting." She sounded almost impressed._

"_Ah, now don't get too carried away little lady." The way he suddenly switched to a southern accent blew Nikita's mind away and she was speechless. "But I don't how a man as observant as me could forget that I've seen you before. One might say its fate."_

"_It's Nikita." She finally told him. Not even catching upon the fact he just used the word 'fate' in his conversation with her._

"_Excuse me?"_

"_You called me little lady." She chuckled. "I'm not little. My name's Nikita."_

_He smiled at her. He looked perfect._

"_Well then Nikita, how about you stay for a little while and I'll buy you another drink?"_

_She could clearly see the silver band on his left hand but that didn't bother her none. It wasn't like they were doing anything beyond the level strangers should be with each other. _

"_Sure." She smiled back._

"_I'm Michael by the way."_

_End of flashback._

_888_

And that was the first time they talked, the first time they met and took any interest in each other. That first time alone and Nikita never knew it could lead to this.

_I never asked for red roses  
I wasn't looking for love  
Somehow I let my emotions take hold  
and guess what?_

She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Nikita wrapped a towel around her slim body and walked in her room straight to her closet.

While she was packing for Michael to leave two weeks ago, she must've forgotten one of his shirts in the closet and it's the only thing of him that she has that smells like him. It's her favorite piece of clothing in the world.

_All at once I'm in love_

She dried herself and slipped on the piece of clothing before climbing in bed. That same bed where they made love to each other so many times, that same bed where they played childishly with each other and created memories. Now all it meant to her was a reminder of something she might lose forever.

_Why did I act like you mattered  
it was silly of me to believe  
that if I just opened my heart  
Things would come naturally_

A sudden rush of coldness cross over her and Nikita hugged herself as tears escaped her eyes. This is so selfish of her but she can't help but missing him.

_I did not ask for love letters  
so why did you give them to me  
how could I let your intentions  
get hold over me_

She glanced at her phone on the empty pillow next to her and she's almost expecting it to ring and for it to be him telling her that he misses her just as much as she misses him. But the reality quickly sank in as she realized that it wasn't going to happen. She made him promise not to call.

_And oh how I hate what you have done  
Made me fall so deep in love_

She doesn't know for how long she can go through this. She can only take so much before she reaches her breaking point.

_Oh I miss you so much  
I long for your love  
it scares me  
Cause my heart gets so weak  
That I can't even breathe_

"I miss you."

888

_Well this is it. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this chapter. Until next time, xoxo._


	4. Letter To Her

Weeks passed and the pain of missing him was just starting to fade into something less agoning because Nikita was learning how to exist... not live, but exist without him.

Friday that week had been a long day of work for Nikita. Between teaching and tirelessly working herself out at the gym, she almost forgot how to love herself.

But it wasn't until an enormous amount of beautiful flowers of all different colors stacked together was sent to her classroom during her lunch period did she break into tears. Along with it came her favorite gourmet vegan chocolates and a small note written in blue ink.

_'I miss you.'_

Hell she didn't care about the chocolates or the flowers, just the simple fact that he's been thinking about her was enough, because God knows she so desperately needed to know that.

888

Getting home that afternoon everything felt lonely again. She has a home but there's no one there waiting for her. She's not coming home to anything but worthless furniture and nice painted walls. That's the heart wrenching part of it all.

On her way in, Nikita checked her mailbox. Indeed there were a bunch of them. They're probably all bills for her pay.

Once inside Nikita disposed her things on the kitchen counter before finding a large vase to put her flowers. She felt as though she might have to eventually watch those flowers die just as her soul currently was.

After a while, Nikita decided to head to her room to take a long, well deserved hot shower to wash away the hard day of work.

She felt less stress when she got out of the bathroom. Dressed in a simple over sized tee-shirt, Nikita strolled back down the hall of her bedroom to her kitchen where she popped open a bottle of red wine and served herself a fresh glass.

Just as she took a sip of her wine, her eyes would stop upon the stacks of mails she had disposed on the counter.

Bills. Bills. More bills. Coupons. Donations. Junk. More junk.

But upon that stack of mails, there was one in particular that caught her attention. She reached for them and skimmed through the other envelopes in which she had no interest in to retrieve a plain one with her name and address scrawled on it with a stamp at the corner.

She recognized the private return address on it and the handwriting. It was Michael's.

Though she knows that she should rip it to pieces and let it turn to ash in the fireplace, she couldn't help but wanting to know what was written inside.

So she ripped open the envelope in a little bit of hesitation as she sat down at the kitchen table. She took the neatly folded vintage piece of paper and ran her fingers over the smooth texture before unfolding it.

Written on one side, in black ink in neat cursive handwriting is a letter.

"Jeez." She mumbled.

Sighing, Nikita took a deep breath and begin reading along the lines with her eyes.

_My Dearest Love,_

_"As I take up my pen to write this letter to you, I do it with possibly a little hesitation, wondering whether or not it'll mean something._

_I know as you read this letter, you're probably thinking that I broke my promise to you, but I couldn't seem to prevent myself from thinking about you. My heart has been shattered into million pieces. Each piece of my broken heart is crushed every time I think of you. Each piece being blown by pain like tiny dust of a flower garden as a nasty, cruel windstorm rolls through and each blow taking me further away from you…_

_I keep playing our song over and over, trying to remind myself that it's going to be alright, and that I'm going to be the one who gets to fall asleep next to you most nights when all this distance between us is over with. It's helping some, but I feel so helpless right now. Especially when all I want to do is hold you in my arms and watch you smile._

_I just need you. I need you. I want you. I yearn for you. And whether we are side by side, or seem to part, remember my love, you will always be the holder of my heart. Because of you, I smile. I am a better me. I'll be here now, and forever. I hope that means something. If not something, then everything. For making my life brighter, I will always be thankful._

_I love you, Nikita Mears. Don't you ever forget that. I miss you most of all._

_Yours truly, Michael Teixeira_

…

Reading this brought tears to Nikita's eyes. They were tears with mixed emotions behind every drop that rolled down her cheeks.

God it's so hard.

Even after she finished reading, she held on to the piece of paper like a fortune. If she wasn't aware of or has ever doubted Michael's feelings for her before, now she surely knew how deep and real they were.

She looked at the crystal ticking clock facing her on the high walls and swallowed hard.

_8:35 PM it read._

If she reckons well, he's probably working but there's one of two chances that he might be home. With his wife and kids.

Nikita got off the chair, carrying her glass of wine and the letter with her to her bedroom.

Her phone was on the bed when she walked in the bedroom. It was cold in there, his scent hunted her everywhere, and she almost feels like she can't escape him no matter what she does.

She got in bed after settling her glass of wine on the nightstand. She read the letter over again and the more she read it, the more she found herself wanting to hear his voice.

Maybe she could call to thank him for the flowers. Yes. That's a great excuse.

She picked up the phone on the bed and hesitated before she could bring herself to dial his number.

_Just do it..._

Some evil voice was screaming in her head and she had no other choice.

When his voice came over the line, tears fell out of Nikita's eyes in pure relief and joy.

It was almost as if he had been expecting the call too.

_"Hi."_

The coldness in her voice was almost too hard to handle. But he sounded so happy to hear her voice.

"Hello."

There's a brief moment of silence between them. It's been a while.

_"I assume you got my letter." Michael broke the silence._

"Umh, yeah." She cleared her throat and swallowed hard. "Thank you for the flowers and the chocolates."

It was nothing comparing to what Michael wished he could give her. He could clearly hear the vulnerability in her tone. He just wished he could give her what she yearned for most...Happiness.

_"How are you?" He asked._

"Fine." Nikita replied sternly. "How are the kids doing?"

_"They're doing well." Michael sighed._

Nikita nodded. "That's good." She responded.

Then he hit her with that line she was dreading to hear from him.

_"I miss you."_

He shouldn't be missing her because missing her means he's thinking about her and that wasn't part of their promise.

But somehow it felt...good to hear it.

"I miss you too." She offered softly.

...

_"Island."_

"What about it?" Nikita questioned.

_"You once said you wanted to be happy somewhere on an island." He refreshed her memory. "Do you remember us having that conversation?" He asked._

...

_Flashback:_

_"What do you want?" Michael asked._

_He was just through with those fights. He was sick and tired of feeling like he's not doing enough. He was tired of watching her cry because of him. He was just tired of it all._

_But still she was silent. Sitting at the edge of the bed as tears rolled down her cheeks._

_"Nikita!"_

_He didn't mean to yell at her but his frustration was getting the best of him every passing second she sat quietly and ignored him._

_"What?" Nikita had finally glanced up at him._

_"What do you want?" Michael repeated._

_Nikita shrugged. "I don't know."_

_At this point she was just done and she's sure that whatever she wanted at the moment wouldn't matter._

_But that wasn't good enough of an answer for Michael._

_"I don't believe you." Michael said. "What do you want? Tell me what need."_

_"You're overreacting. You need to-"_

_"One last time, what do you want?!" Michael shouted._

_Nikita swallowed hard. No answer._

_Michael could see the petrifying look in her eyes and he sighed._

_"I'm sorry-" He apologized in a softer tone. "Just... don't make me say it for you." He begged through gritted teeth. "Because if you do, I'll never forgive you. So tell me, what do you want Nikita?"_

_He wasn't angry or frustrated anymore. He was just beyond exhausted._

_Finally, Nikita stood up before him and looked into his eyes with her tear-filled hazel orbs._

_"I want to be happy," She answered._

_It was like being repeatedly stabbed in the chest when Michael heard her so desperately voice her need of wanting to be happy._

_"I want to be happy and peaceful somewhere at a beach on a beautiful island." Her tone tearfully cracked into a subtle whisper at the end of her sentence. "And yes;" she continued, licking the drop of salty tears that rolled down her lips while pushing her hair behind her ears at the same time. "That's selfish because I want you there. I want that with you."_

_It was wishful thinking because deep down Nikita knew she could never have that. To hell with the beach, the warm white sand, and the beautiful clear water rolling into waves. She didn't want any part of it if he couldn't be there with her too._

_"I'll work on it." Michael said almost promisingly with unshed tears in his emerald green eyes._

_He pulled her into his arms and just hugged her. He's here for her; he always will be and he wants her to know that; to feel that. His only wish is that things were different._

_But this is them. This is the relationship they have. It's complicated and messy at times but it them. They manage to make it work and that simple fact alone was enough._

_So, Nikita pulled closer into him, wrapped her arms around his torso as tight as she could and held onto him, and within him, she found the comfort she needed._

_Michael squeezed his eyes shut as he placed a kiss on her forehead and breathed into her hair._

_"I love you."_

...

_End of flashback._

...

"I do remember." Nikita replied.

_"So which one is it gonna be?" Michael asked._

Nikita cleared her throat and licked her lips; something she does mostly out of habit. "I don't know." She answered truthfully.

_"Anguilla, Barbados, Bora Bora, Fiji, Maui... Etc." He thought stating a few might help to prove that he was being serious. "Pick one."_

"Fiji." Nikita said.

There was another brief pause on the line between them before one of them spoke again.

_"Consider it handled." Michael told her._

Nikita wanted to believe him with all she's got but nobody knows more about false hope better than she does.

"Okay."

...

_"Can I see you?" Michael asked._

Nikita didn't even have to think about it to answer him.

"No." She replied.

God did she want to see him! Nothing would make her happier than being with him for just a few hours but she's not sure she could go through the pain of watching him leave again.

_"Why not?" Michael questioned._

"We had an agreement." Nikita said.

_"I don't care." Michael told her._

The agreement they had was no longer valid. They weren't supposed to be in any contact with each other or even think about each other while they were figuring things out. But what's done is done.

"That's your problem."

_"Why are you doing this?" Michael asked._

Nikita knew what he meant perfectly.

_"You're the one being stubborn." She said._

If Nikita could see the expression of disbelief on his face at the moment, she would probably burst into laughter or even roll her eyes.

_"So, does that mean I can see you?" He tried again; hoping she might have changed her mind in the past five seconds but he knew his luck was minimal._

"It's better for both of us if you stay away." Nikita answered.

_"Why's that?" Michael pressed curiously._

It can't be because she chose to move on already. That just wouldn't sit right with him and he wouldn't accept it either.

"You don't get it, do you?" Nikita let out an unbelievable chuckle crossed with a hint of sarcasm.

_"Get what?" Michael responded._

"We're bad for each other." Nikita said.

_"How exactly are we-?"_

Michael was interrupted in the middle of his question. He found it amazing how she could pull out those things that are so hurtful and aggressive to hear out of the blue in an effort to keep him away.

First it was him not being there enough for his kids. And now it's because they're bad for each other.

What sense does that make? Seriously it's freaking impressive.

Perhaps she didn't get it before but he doesn't plan on going anywhere.

"One of us always ends up left crying and in most scenarios, that person is me." Nikita said.

...

Complete silence.

Michael knew deep down it was true and that's why he wasn't arguing with her about it. He doesn't necessarily feel great every time he has to leave but this is their situation.

_"I do miss you." He said at last. "It makes me crazy."_

Nikita smiled to herself sadly. She misses him more. "I have to go." She said.

Michael didn't bother asking why. She had to go and he wasn't going to stop her.

_"Okay." He agreed. "I love-"_

Nikita didn't let him finish because she couldn't let him. She needed to get through tonight without tears. Not that she hasn't shed enough already.

"Goodbye, Michael."

Even after the line went dead, the phone was still held to her ears.

"I love you, too." She whispered to the empty line.

888

_This is it. I hope you guys enjoyed it so please leave a review and let me know your thoughts. I will try to update "The Womanizer". I haven't completely abandoned it. Special shout out to everyone who's been PM'ing me. You guys are truly amazing and I'm so humbled. Until next time, xoxo._


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